چی بگم؟ از کجا بگم...

...azmoghe ke raft dige nemidoonam dige az koja begam...az ci begam?vaghan afsoos mikhoram vase in badbakhtie khodam...bazi moghe ke fekr mikonam ( mage manam dige fekr mikonam ? ) mibinam ke akhe ta key? ta in tanhayia ta key ? oon ke dige nemikhadet pas dige chete?hatman hekmat in bood.shayad sarneveshte zendegit in bood dokhtar ..aslan nemidoonam kojaaaas...khoobi to? khosh migzare bedoone ma? hatman ke are...khodet gofti age mano faramoosh koni hame chiz OK mishe.hatmanam ke shode.farda shab mishe daghighan ye hafte azoon moghe ke behem gofti......................masalan oomadam in kolbero vase khodam sakhtam ke tanhayimo toosh begzaroonam...har dafe ke beynemoon chizi mishod hamishe baram ye gharn migzasht...bavar kon baram sakhte...TTORO KHODA BEGOO KE TOAM DELET BARAM TANG SHODEEEE...das be harja ke mizanam, booe tanhayio khoob hes mikonam...engar ba ma dige nemiad.nemidoonam kojae karam eshtebah bood...khastam...bi hoselam...dige mikham khafe konam...mikham bemiraaam.ah .na nemikham bemiram.ye roozi be donya oomadam vase inke zendegi konam...dalile digeyi dasht?are.dalilesh in bood ke khoda khas man tanha kasi basham ke shabo roozamo siah bebinam...ama khob che fayde?ye roozi ham bayad bemirim.mage na?pas chera alan namirim?
man emrooz NEVERLANDO didam.hamoon jayi ke hame mikhan toosh bashan . chon mikhan free bashan.khosh bashan. aslan bavar nadashtam...ama emrooz didamesh.khodam oonja naboodam...ama adamasho didam...hamashoon adamayi boodan ke nemidoonestan vase chi oomadan in donya?ama badesh fahmidam boodane hame ma ensana too in kore zamin ye dalili dare k yye roozi mifahmim...khoda danad ke oon rooz keye ...khob dige ehsas mikonam dige ziadi harf zadam...man ke faghat miam az tanhayim ye chiz alaki benalam inja...nemidoonam miad behem sar bezane ya na ama age oomadi inja ke tanhayimo bebini ino ham bedoon ke hanoozam toro ye BI MARAM, YE BI MAREFAT mishnasam...akhe ta keeey?
be omide oon rooooz . . .

میدونم که میدونی...

      Ghazie Azin GhaRar Bo0oD...
Hich vaght hichki baram inghadar arzesh nadasht.
ba oomadanesh too zendegim hame chizamo be koli avaz karde bood. nakhastam behesh adat konam az bas doro varamo yejoor dige did mizadam. ama mage mishod? be khodam goftam felani to ke delet az sang nis. has? zaman gozasht. 1 mah ,6 maah, 1 saal...azoon moghe ta alan ye chizayi hoodoode 2 saali migzare.midoones faselemoon faghat ye kooche bala tar nis .farsang-ha baham fasele dashtim. fekresho kon dige khodet.are...joft midoonestim hame chizo.ama del ke dige cheshm nadare bebine man kiam oon kie.etefaghi bood ke oftade bood. shode boodam 2 del. hichki nemidoones cheme .akhe man doosesh dashtam inam khoob midoonestam oonam doosam dare.dore varemoono ye mosht adamae bikar kamin karde boodan . haminan ke khastan jodayie ma yerooz sar berese.
in harfayi ke daram mizanam sakhtarin harfae ke tahala az in dahane man oomade biroon.ama chera bayad begam?chon dige nemitoonam tahamol konam.goft bemir mimordam.goft bemoon mimoondam.chanbar nigash kardam ba oonke asheghoone doosesh dashtam ama ingar jodayi ro mikhoondam . fekr mikonin na ye bar na 2 bar 4-5 raftan oomadan mafhoomesh chi mitoone bashe? ama oon nakhas mano dark kone.oon baram shode bood behtarin.akharin.hamishegi.ama heyf ke shod BEHTARIN ESHTEBAM,AKHARIN ESHTEBAM...ye shab nemididamesh delam hezar ja miraft.kojas?chera nis?nakone baz chizi shode bashe?midoonam age biad bazam mikhad bege dige nemikhad biad...inaro dige khoob hefs shode boodam...ta ye modat gheybesh mizad nemidoonam chera mikhas dige mano nabine  . ama khob hagh dash.mage man arzeshesho dashtam? maloome ke nadashtam . age dashtam alan injoor nemishod halo roozam ...che shabhayi o baham sobh mikardim. engar hamash ye khaab bood.ta hamin lahzeye akhar nemidoones baham chikarde. are behesh vabaste shode boodam.mikhastamesh. shode bood hame chizam.ama heyf ke dir goftam...injas ke daram azin dard misoozam ke akhe chera...pas chera khoda behemoon zaboon dade?doroste nemishe hame harfaro ke zad.man hamishe hame harfasho too cheshash mikhoondam.az harfasho halatash.oonam ye adamie khejalati.hich vaght hichio roo raas nemigoft( elahi man ghorboonesh beram  )
in lahzeh akhar nemidoonam chi shod engar hamash too khaab bood...hamash taghsire khodam bood.ama khoda gavahe har dafe fekre raftan zade bood too kalam ama baz delam pishesh bood.hamishe pashimoon boodam.tahala fekresho kardi ? midoonam shayad vase kheylia in etefagh oftade. kheyli bade adam faghat be omide yeki zendegi kone ama oonike omideshe, dige nakhad bahash zendegi kone ...
ye shabi too hamin shaba...mesle hame shabha oomadam ba hezar ta omid.oon rooz hame didane ashke mano mikhastan...age ghablana ba 1 saat ghose boghzam miterkid, inbar ba har chizi 1 sec boghzam miterkid.shabo kheyli montazeresh shodam...oomade bood mesle hamishe dir.albate manam kheyli vaght bad gholi kardamo dir oomadam.kheyli vaght bood nasheste boodimo baham begim bekhandim.ba oonke midoonam az kheyli jaryana az dastam gele dare, say mikardam raazish konam ke faramooshesh kone...ama engar nashode bood? yeki az harfamoono bahoone gereft...bahaneha hamana mano darde jodayi hamana...
hamishe migoft vase raftanam bayad ye bahane kamel dashte basham.ye chizi ke betoonam jodayimo saabet konam barash.ama fekr mikonin khodesh toones? TO mage az hamoon avalesh nemidoonesti man inja to oonja?
dastam naae neveshtan nadare  ...be man begoo akhe chera?chera bayad in etefagh miyoftad?ki khas maro nefrin kone ke ma be in rooz biyoftim? man ke khoob midoonam toam hanooz delet injas.pas chera rafti?haaa?akhe chera???
tanhaeo dige adat kardam bahash.inke oomadam inja chon nemikhastam dige harfaro too delam nigar daram.dige jae in hame ghose ro nadash...akhe bi marefat,injoori mikhasti too gheseham hamsafaram shi?injoori ? ...man hanoozam montazeretam...che too khialam che...
injas yade oon harfayi miyoftam ke yeki migoft. behem migoft;felani yerooz pashimoon mishi.yerooz saret mikhore be yejayi mohkam taze bidar mishio mifahmi che dir jonbidi...are midoonam ...doos daram bazam biyay.bazam biyay pishe khodam...midoonam ke miyay.midoonammm...
montazeret hastam...faghat dir nakon zood bia
bashe???
pas felaaan...

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